All About Transitions

Sooner or later everyone is going to be experiencing transitions in one form or another in their lives. In this podcast I discuss transitions: what they are, what the three stages are, and how to get help and support to go through them. Everything in existence is the result of a transition, so one would think because of this that transitions should be fairly easy. But in reality there is nothing that can bring up fear greater and faster than having to undergo a transition. I hope this information is useful for you!

Enjoy, Joseph.

If you’re interested in being mentored by me, check out my websites and feel free to contact me. I'd love to hear from you and about your dreams!

• http://www.mentorjoseph.com
• https://motivationalmentor.com

Transcript

Hello and welcome to the Mentor Joseph Podcast!

In this podcast, I would like to talk about the subject of Transition. Transition is one of the most important things that exists in the reality of the human experience. As a professional mentor, the majority of the time when I am mentoring people, I am mentoring them through some form of transition. 

Of all the things that exist in our life, there is nothing more profound than change. In fact, everything that exists is the result of change. So we'd all think that change is something that would be readily easy for us to deal with. Yet the reality is is that change, in many ways, is the scariest thing that humans can ever deal with! 

Everything that exists in the known universe, and probably beyond, all exists because of transition. There was a time when the Universe didn't exist and it came into existence. So with all this transition going on, one would think that transition would be the easiest thing for humans to experience, since everything came into existence through some form of transition, but the reality for humans is that transition is the scariest thing that someone could go through. 

So first off, let's talk about what a transition is. A transition is going from a stable set of circumstances, or at least a belief that the circumstances are stable, to a set of circumstances that are not stable, and then back to a new set of circumstances that feel stable to us. 

When I say stable, what I'm actually saying is predictable—that we have a sense and a feeling that the circumstances that we're in are predictable. Another way to describe this is that things feel familiar to us, as opposed to unfamiliar. After the transition is complete. we could say that we are now in the new familiar.  

Transition can be barely perceptible or happen like a bolt of lightning. We may choose transition, or it may be thrust upon us. In any event, ready or not, you will experience transition in your life, many, many transitions. 

So let's look at transition from a personal standpoint. You have a career, you have a house, you have all kinds of things that you have come to expect around you. You might call this a state of predictability. Let's say, for an example, that, for reasons beyond your control, all of this was taken away from you. You would now no longer have what would be your presumed state of predictability. You are now without a predictable state. You are now in a deep transitional reality. You will be in the transitional state until you reach your new predictable reality.

Generally, transitions are always in three parts:

• Something happened. You made a choice. You enter into the transition.
• You go through the transitional state.
• And then you arrive at the new state that has been created as a result of the transition. 

A transition can be about many things, or it can be about one. So let's discuss why transitions are so hard because they bring up fear, uncertainty and stress. A transition is going to require lots and lots of decisions and choices. It's going to require the creative aspects of your personality. This becomes really difficult because it's hard to utilize the creative aspects of your personality if you're in fear. When you're in fear, you're in fight, flight or paralyzation. Choices that are made in a fear state are seldom adequate to deal with problems, so it becomes necessary to turn on your creative self and to manage the fear. 

So when I get asked, as a mentor, what's the number one thing that you can do in order to manage fear, the answer to that question is always to find somebody to talk with about what's going on. It's very difficult for a human to break out of a fear spiral by themselves. The majority of the time, it requires input from someone else who is outside of the set of circumstances and not affected by the transition that you are currently undergoing. In essence, what you are doing is literally borrowing somebody else's creative self. As you borrow somebody else's creative self, it will literally jump start your creative self. So whether you hire a mentor like myself or find a friend, you are going to need a transition buddy to help break you out of the isolation and get your creative self back into the game. 

Let's identify some characteristics of a transition buddy. First of all, they have to be a safe person to communicate with, and they have to be nonjudgmental. They also have to be a very good listener. Most people who are in the heart and thralls of transition actually know what it is that is needed to resolve their problems, but they're so afraid that they can't make a connection to that part of themselves. Your transition buddy may be able to offer you advice and have an understanding about what's going on with you, but the big thing is, is that they're trying to get you into a space where you're relaxed and calm enough for your creative self to kick in and help resolve the problems that are at hand that you need to work on. 

So once you've established a relationship with a transition buddy, the relationship has to be based on honesty. Once you know that they're safe, you have to be honest with them and tell them exactly what's going on in regards to the transition in its complete detail. This will enable you to be honest with yourself about what you are actually experiencing and what you're going through. 

The next thing that they can help you do is to fully realize and accept that the transition is underway and that things have changed. You will not be getting back to whatever it was. 

Then the next question to ask them is, how do you move on? With most transitions, they follow a pattern. Pretty much everything that exists around us in one form or another is following a pattern. You are probably not the first person to go through the transition that you are currently going through. So then, after you have dealt with the fear as best you can and the anxiety, then it becomes an information game. What can you and your transition buddy find out about what you are currently going through with a transition? Go online and do research on the internet. If there are professionals that you can talk to, you may find out that you can get at least a half an hour of free information. Start researching. Collect as much information as possible. Find out if there's services out there that are provided by the community, the state or the government that you can utilize to help you with information and to help solve problems. Try to predict where the transition is taking you, because transitions follow patterns. This is usually known. The most important thing at this point is to absolutely unequivocally make sure that you have accurate information that the decisions that you are making are based on accurate and verifiable information. That is not about what you believe at this point, it's about what you can actually prove. 

Once you start to accumulate a substantial body of information, then it's time to break the information down into what I call a strategy structure. Start figuring out what steps you need to take—what are the least important and what are the most important? Start taking the most important steps first. This is where your transition buddy comes in. They can help you evaluate this and put together the strategy structure. You're going to ask your transitional buddy to help you stay on point and make sure that you're getting things done. So you're going to set specific dates and times that things will be accomplished. As you start moving through the issues that need to be accomplished, you will build up momentum. You will get thrust, and that will start to alleviate the fear and paralyzation that goes along with transitions. 

I realize that people who are in transitions can be in a set of circumstances where they literally feel like they have no one to talk to. In these moments, you may find yourself communicating with somebody that you never, ever thought that you'd be talking to about anything like this. That's totally okay. These people show up in our lives. They can be somebody that we work out in the gym with, that we hardly know, that we start a conversation with on the treadmill. 

It's important to understand that trusted friends that you've known all your life might not be able to stick around for you while you're in the midst of a transition. Transitions are scary for human beings in general, and if somebody is going through a transition, the general population is usually scared of them. It becomes a reminder that they themselves are probably be going through a similar transition. If you're at a party and you're at the buffet table, and somebody asks you how things are going, and you tell them that the company that you work for just went broke and you're unemployed, there's an exceptionally high probability that they're all going to flee away from you, because you're going to put them in the fear that this could happen to them. You're looking for the people who are going to say, yeah, that happened to me, and this is what went on with me, and I made it through this. And you're going to make it through it too. 

For more information about making a strategy structure and working with a transitional buddy, please go to mentorjoseph.com This will take you to my motivational mentor page. Under the tab practice prosperity, you will find the Top 10 List, which is a questionnaire and gives advice on how to work through a major transition, in addition to how to work through a major transition with a transitional buddy. Thank you for stopping by. I wish you well and the best of luck on your transitional journey, whatever It might be and wherever It's taking you. Joseph.